crikey

well girls, there's someone you ought to meet:

(No wonder I'm still single. You don't find these in high school.)

It's Hugh Jackman as Drover in the movie Australia. We're getting married. Oh yeah.

Merry Christmas!

In honor of Christmas, I thought I'd do a blog about religion.

Christianity, specifically, is very strange. Mary was either the a. most insane b. most clever c. most honest person on earth. Either she was on some kind of drug and thought a rapist was an angel and really wasn't a virgin, got pregnant as a teenager out of wedlock and decided to say an angel did it, or she was telling the truth.

The latter, let me tell you, would suck. If God came up to me and said "Hey, you're pretty, you're going to have my kid. Since I'm God, you have no choice in the matter." I would be pissed. First of all, you didn't even get to have sex. Second, you're a virgin. There is not room for a baby there. that would be PAINFUL.

So it's either the most brilliant and successful scheme/lie ever, or true.

I have difficulty believing it. Especially since I know the arc story is false. God did not create animals to procreate within their own families, it messes up the genes. So the whole two by two concept is a lie. Then the logic leads to "what else is untrue/unrealistic?"

But then why did Jesus stick with it? We know he was a real person. We know he got a ton of people mad enough to kill him. This guy was willing to die instead of give it up, if it was a lie. And if his parents invented the lie, why would he continue to live it? Why not say "Just kidding guys" the instant somebody walked up with 6 inch nails and a giant mallet? Could someone be THAT fame thirsty?

I'd kill for DNA testing back then...

I don't know what to believe. I don't think a world that runs this smoothly just magically appeared. But I also don't think I can believe a lot of the side stories.

Switching Time!

Okay,
So switching my major has definitely gone from a consideration to a decision. I am now an RTF major. Sadly all the rtf course were full for next semester. However, I still dropped 2 bis classes, so that now I am only in micro econ (the more useful one for my business). Now instead I am taking another course towards my French minor and a history class (europe since 1914 ^.^). So yeah. Big decision but I feel so much happier right now. I'll still take some class to help me manage my business but I wont go completely crazy in all of the unecessary courses I would hate! Yay! Not having 3 econs makes next semester seem so much less daunting.

musings

I write too much.
...Far too much.

In other news, I'm pondering a different title for the TTL blog. When I was creating it I was too impatient to get creative and just used the title from my livejournal. But it'd be kind of nice to have something new, the LJ was created almost 2 years ago now, and I'm hardly the same person anymore. Ideas? Change the title yes/no? And if yes...to what??

Major Considerations

So today I was talking my mother and my brother about RTF (radio-tv-film). We were watching a football game and I was saying how cool I thought it would be to be the person directing it. So then we talked about my activity with the rtf program at school and the possiblity of switching my major. Not necessarily changing what I do with my life, just changing to a major that would give me a more interesting and enjoyable four years. Cause see the thing with a business major is a don't really need all the classes for what I want to do with my life. If I stick with my current major I will be forced to take things like "Econ Bis Stats" and "Fundamentals of Finance" and "Essentials of Human Resources Management". None of the those classes sound even vaguely interesting to me. But more importantly none of those classes are useful to running a small business either!

What I would then do if I switched to an RTF major is I would do all the requirements for that major and then take some bis classes to help me run my photo studio. Which really wouldn't be that hard because the rtf major has a significantly lighter course load than business. So I would have time for more elective courses. I really think it might work and would probably make me less miserable since the rtf people are much cooler than the business people.

Anyway, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet but I really just needed to get those thoughts out there.

(Five Blog Posts in a day, Can you believe it?)

Cry For Help

Someone please save me before it's too late!! The S'mores you all know and love ((-_-, don't even...)) is becoming domestic!! It all started innocently enough with doing laundry at school, keeping my dorm room organized so I could study, etc... I was still the one and only s'mone, more interested in kung fu, too many languages, and endless blogging, who scoffed at doing dishes (I have done dishes a total of 2 times in the 4 months I've been at school) and has yet to vacuum/sweep the dorm floor (ew).

Yet then the girls and I baked cookies in the tiny dorm kitchen (pics on photobucket/facebook)...and then I spent lots of yesterday cleaning and organizing and getting settled at my mom's...and then last night Morgen and I baked a shit ton of purely delightful sugar cookies (more pics on facebook/photobucket)...today, post Shao Lin, was more cleaning and putting up the tree and house things (and, god forbid, I'm about to go do dishes for the second time in two days)...

...oh noes!

Brownies!!

So on the very appropriate subject of chocolate, I am baking the best brownies ever this weekend. We are taking desserts to Christmas and I thought I would show you all the incredibly awesome brownies I am taking to Christmas so that you all may be incredibly jealous.

Best Brownies Ever!

Home

It's interesting being home. My life at school is fairly drama free. Nothing big or important ever happens. This house is just so entirely full of drama. It's honestly really hard to handle after being away. My mom just takes everything too seriously, life to her is a big drama. Everything is important and my fault and i just need a break from my family again. Which is amusing considering I've only been home for one week of my seven week break....

(sn) ooooowww!

Graah! So much snow! I love it but it does tend to interfere with my plans...especially when I do not have my own car. My mom doesn't want me taking hers to Shao Lin tonight...I'm sure my dad won't want to either...and I'm supposed to meet Morgen there and then have her come back with me. And then go again tomorrow morning. :P I am so sore from Wednesday night and from shoveling this morning... and I bruised my index finger today too, I hit the main knuckle against the table really hard. (ow.)

I totally just saw my mom pretend her camry was a champion winter vehicle and reverse through the snow the plow piled at the end of our driveway, bahaha. I'm glad she made it though or I would've needed to go out there and shovel her out... (I like that she can go to work but I can't go to Shao Lin because "I know you're a good snow driver but I'm worried someone might hit you.") Yes I understand why she would think work warrants a car and Shao Lin doesn't, but it's going to be closed for the next two weeks and I really want to go while I can! Plus think how awesome I would feel if I'm already this sore from Wednesday and then went tonight and tomorrow morning too. It would be sweet.

Picture update:

<--Where I sleep now

~~~Look how perfectly the snow fell on the balcony railing!

Stir Crazy (but not the cool restuarant)

Rawr! I have been basically sitting in my house since I come home from smores' wednesday. I while the LOTR sleepover was excellent I need more socialization, that's the only friend interaction I've had since coming home. (Sorry Jonny you don't count as friend interaction). And the stupid snow definitely threw a wrench in my plans. Cause I had morning plans with ang where-in we were going to go to east so I was going to see alot of people and I'm definitely bummed that that didnt happen. O well. It's silly but I feel like why have an awesome new hair cut if no one gets to see it?

Speaking of the hair cut, that was so nerve racking. My hair dresser was running late so I sat in the waiting room with my hair ponytailled off for like 30 minutes. I seriously thought I was going to lose my nerve. It's still super strange. Especially showering, It's amazing how much less shampoo/conditioner you need when you cut off almost 14 inches of your hair. I think I kind of love it though. Like alot. It's really weird... but rather adorable. You all need to see it!!!

I am done with chemistry for life! Now I just have to pray that I got between a 48-99% so I can keep my C. >.> Because of that useless gap I had a really hard time studying...which did not help. Ah well. Que cera, cera or however you spell it.

One more exam left, all it is is an essay. Watch a few speeches, do some critiquing, then get the heck out of here.

I want to go home so badly. Dad's picking me up around 3, then we have another 3 hour drive to menomonie to get Sarah, then a 5 hour drive back home. Shoot me now. Somebody needs to invent a teleporter already!

My cousin's wedding is two days after christmas and I'm really excited! The bridesmaids' dresses are this gorgeous floor length deep red color, then we get white shawls and muffs with a little sprig of holly on them. It will be sooooo pretty. I'm also happy Reid is coming, though I do feel awful because I hadn't realized that I couldn't eat with him. So he's stuck alone (aka hanging out with Sarah and Tony...which really shouldn't be that bad, I hope. I think he and Tony would get along well.) for a while. I'm glad you guys get to meet him soon though! It's weird having people who are so important to you that have never met each other.

Boredom. My exam doesn't start for 45 minutes and I just want to eat something, pack up, then go home. Oh well.

Hope you ladies (and Jon) are having a wonderful break so far, I'll see you soon!

我很緊張!! I AM SO NERVOUS!! I have been reading my Chinese textbook since 9am. Dear god. QWEOyzdlkjxfbhaiorghlkjaasdfkzhfbmhpiew.

In other awesome news, it rained all yesterday morning (then froze = ice) and snowed all afternoon/night. So it's lovely and snowy but IT IS ALSO -8*F (and with windchill, "feels like -27")!! Therefore when I walk 20+ minutes to my final, I will be wearing jeans and a sweater, plus two pairs of leggings, free REI socks, snowboots, fuzzy socks on my hands (no mittens!) and a giant Columbia coat from Claire instead of my peacoat. And a sweater and a hat.

But right now I'm just chilling in jeans and a sweater minus all the layers, in my dorm room...with the window open. Or, not chilling; saturating my brain with Chinese characters.

...also, has anyone else noticed that it is less than two weeks to Christmas? o_O;

Lazy Day

Well I was going to be productive today...But then I woke up this morning and for some reason the house is 60.... and while that isnt that cold when you are outside it is rather cold as a temperature for your house. I managed to make myself exercise this morning but now post shower i think i shall stay in bed until the house gets a bit warmer. So much for a productive day.

Aaack I can't study.

My hardest class is chemistry. I can get a 50%-99% and I will be stuck with a C. So I have absolutely no motivation to study for my hardest class because it won't. do. crap. Great!

Natural resources tomorrow. Hooray. Two exams down, 4 to go. Already did my natural resources lab exam and tai chi exam, not hard at all. I'm going to miss tai chi a LOT.

I get to sleep in tomorrow! And no exams on tuesday.

I see you guys in less than a week! EEEE!

so. many. languages.

Katie! you should post something interesting about your pre-finals weekend so I have something fascinating to read on my 'my-brain-needs-a-break-from-studying' time.

Kat! I can't wait to see you on Tuesday :) My megabus ticket says the amtrak station arrival will be at 1pm. I'll call you while on the bus to let you know if we're still on time. My guess is 1-130 but hopefully not later than that!! :D The bus stop is, if you're standing facing the amtrak station, on the street to your left, in front of a big parking lot. There's a reeeeeally tiny bus stop sign that says megabus on it. I'll find you. :) Plus, the bus is either blue or purple and ginormous, you can't miss it.

Home!

I am super psych'd to get home. Seven weeks for friends, christmas and jon! It's super super super exciting *bounces up and down*. I'm soo impatient! I'm getting a ride home with victoria piel and her dad is leaving after work to get us and I just want him to get here already. I've been done since noon! I need out! Although I am happy that I've had the whole room to myself for the day. I'll miss lauren though. It's weird she's so unemotional and detached, I'm her only friend here and we never even really said goodbye. How sad that I will probably never see her again. I mean I can't say we were that close... She is a very private person, doesn't let people in easily. I get the feeling she has a lot more scars than she admits to. Well I mean you'd have to with two alcholic parents who are divorced. I heard her step mom (Also an alcoholic) on the phone with her once and she is not a pleasant drunk... I worry for her living at home. She acts like it's all just fine but I think she is much more damaged then she admits to.

I really hope I don't get a roomate next semester, I love my room the way it is right now as a single.

dreamblog

Well hell, that was such a weird vivid dream. (I totally slept in my contacts too so when I opened my eyes and was able to see it was very disorienting.)

Anyway, first my dad was dropping me off for a canoe trip which would be including my mom, Aunt Monica, Baylen, and other family members. For some reason I had totally forgotten to pack. So I did not have extra contacts or pajamas or sunscreen or I think even a swimsuit or anything, I forget. Anyway, apparently the spot we were at to launch our boats was where we had launched them last year (my dad and I had shared a canoe I think) and it was really really difficult and narrow and fast, and he kept demanding that we launch them across this little inlet where there was sand, yet for some reason we'd have to swim over dragging the canoes instead of just start canoeing. I really wanted to go the hard way (my dad wasn't coming this time; Baylen and I were going to be in the same canoe) because I knew we could do it and you know me, I always pick the more challenging way to do something. I learned how to steer a canoe last summer (Katy taught me at the cottage!!) and I wanted to go for it. Baylen was not being his usual controlling self and said he'd let me sit in the back/steer sometimes if I wanted to. @_@ Anyway we did end up swimming for that other isle thing, I don't know why. I almost got stuck in these really weird weed things growing from the bottom, they were wrapping themselves around my arms and legs and I accidentally held onto someone else and they started going down, so I let go and almost got pulled to the bottom, which was way deeper than it should have been. Anyway. I was really good at steering. (My mom wasn't at all, I had to teach her -- for some reason she and I were sharing a canoe at one point) Then somehow we were canoeing past these huge castle like structures. So naturally everyone else disappears and Baylen and I go to investigate. (Somehow I am able to magically carry our canoe all by myself.) So we are climbing around these sandstone castles and towers and bridges. There's some sinister feeling like someone is following or watching from down below. Anyway.

Then it switched to me heading back to Shao Lin, but it wasn't actually Shao Lin and only Jules and Mitch and then random unknown people were there (wtf). And I was realizing with horror that I wasn't getting that thrilled-overwhelmed-with-love-and-crazy-excitement feeling to be back this time. Then all of the sudden I was getting out of a huge white truck (Dustin's? But he wasn't there?) on some red dirt road at some house in the middle of nowhere, which was apparently the Moraines', but Morgen didn't show up til later. Anyway the next part is hard to remember but suddenly I was just an observer, I wasn't actually there - I was still at the canoe trip. And two guys were looking for me? or something? I don't exactly remember what was going on next, but a Ben/Dustin-type-person (who wasn't quite them but was like them? he was my real brother in the dream anyway, and both of them are eligible) wouldn't help them find me. And this brother was a really good fighter, but they couldn't be beat. (all of a sudden I was seeing the dream from his vantage point, running, hiding then ambushing, being all acrobatic and climbing away -- and one of them was always right there; the other one stood outside by the door and the white truck/red dirt road) The guy after "me"/my brother was too big, my attacks weren't fazing him at all. I was caught in a net at one point - escaped somehow - still couldn't take him down. I even made it up the wall by climbing up some flags or something, and then made it to the second floor (he was already there) and then through some weird secret door which turned out to be a door to the outside of the house; I made my way along this ledge outside, planning on coming around to the front door to take out the one guy there, and then come in the house behind the other guy...I look down and he is beneath me, looking up. Gaaaah! I get down there and fight him again, and basically get the shit beat out of me (thank god you don't feel pain in dreams, right?) and finally I have had enough. Somehow I decide I have to stop (I can't beat him or affect him at all!!) and he takes "me" away (except now I'm not seeing it from his perspective anymore, I'm observing) and who knows where they were going to take me; they wanted me (as in me me, not me being my brother) and thought they could get to me through him, I'm guessing. (haha, firefly? :P) What's interesting is that I/brother didn't actually get hurt. I was not bruised or broken or bloody or anything when I finally stopped fighting. I also never actually dreamed through getting totally crushed, I just knew it happened. Huh.

THEN Morgen appears from somewhere and runs all distraught to the white truck, by which she somehow knows what has happened. Somehow I am there now (but still back on the canoe trip simultaneously, wtf) and we know we HAVE to get to wherever it is we're canoeing and warn me. (how twisted does this get)

unfortunately I start to forget it all/start waking up around this point, but Morgen was taking the truck to go find me, and somehow I was telepathically picking up that distress signal (now as me back on the canoe trip) because Baylen and I were still exploring these castle buildings that were just in the middle of the waterway. So then everyone heads back to the giant river and I get to do some fancy steering around buildings as we're trying to "get away" and then I just kept waking up and couldn't fall asleep anymore. :(

It certainly was interesting, though.

Interesting Night

Sorry for the disappearance yesterday, ladies!

It was a rather interesting night. This guy, Evan, knocked on our door and asked for super glue. I'm in some classes with him...well, almost all of them until he dropped chemistry and I dropped firefighting. So I asked what he needed it for.

He said "Well, for my head."

Wtf? So turns out he slammed his head into the edge of the loft, a thing I have done probably about 5 times now, and managed to make himself bleed...rather a lot. And he was of the opinion that supergluing it back together was a good idea. Now I know they have medical glue...but that's not sanitary!

He's okay now, turned out to be just a lot of bleeding for a little wound.

When can I call you guys today? I'm free before 12, between 3 and 4, and after 5. Tuesdays are my complicated hell days. >.>

Love you both!

Being Bold

So I friended this girl from my choir on facebook. She seems really nice and actually possibly intelligent. I really don't know how to non-creepily turn a nice seeming person from an acquaintance to a friend, but I will figure it out. But either way I am proud of myself for at least taking a same first step. The more of those I manage to do the more friends I'll have right? I just need to make a couple friends in each of my classes next semester and then it will be okay. Cause if you add those to the kind of friends I have already, maybe that will be enough. I hope.

gorram it

I don't really understand myself sometimes. Or most of the time. Last night was fun but just...sort of awkward for me, because it seems like he pretty much likes me a lot, and for me...I didn't really feel that way back. He'd be a great friend. And I'll keep hanging out and seeing what happens I guess, but I don't want to lead him on or anything if there's really nothing there for me. And Kat, I know you said I always do this, but this isn't the same as before. This time I'm not pushing away someone because I'm afraid they like me (Jake, Tyler, Nic, Adrian); this time I'm not being completely oblivious (Dan?!); this time I'm not ignoring someone I like because I'm too scared to do anything about it (Baylen) or giving up too soon when they're shy too (Nate). This is me trying to give it a chance and really not feeling anything back. At least as far as I can tell. I sort of had fun last night, but, it more felt sort of...sad? Because he likes me and doesn't know what to do, and because I want to get to know him but think we should be friends? (Does it count as overanalyzing when you're just confused, Jon?) He gave me a hug goodbye and instead of being excited (remember me the first time Baylen and I hugged, Katie? you were there) I was just like "ohh...hm."

Oh and you were right, Katie--peppermint-spiked hot chocolate is really good.

PMS, Strep and a Speech Contest

I really think the universe deserves a good solid bitch slapping. Today, I have the speech contest that I have been thinking about since the beginning of the semester. I planned to spend the day practicing. However, I discovered yesterday I probably have strep. It's not all that bad yet but I do have a sore throat, a bitch of a headache, and a fever. And you know what makes today even more fun!! According to where I am in my pill pack I will probably get my period today. You know some days I really think the universe is working against me.

D'aww

So I've been in a retroactively bad mood today. Just bad things happening. Fell up the stairs, everything from last night/yesterday, some really odd dreams/day dreams. Not enough sleep too.

Walking home from David's, I got a text message. It said "Look out your window"

So I did.

Katie + Reid. Reaaally big. And he's standing next to it, his hands in a heart. I almost cried for the third time in the past 24 hours. D'aww.

Job Interview

I wrote my first resume today, sent in my first resume, and got my first call for a job interview today.

This is the job description: Carry out all aspects of the daily care of assigned animals including cleaning, feeding, observing and evaluating animal conditions and behaviors. Participate in daily educational programs and communicate with and assist guests. Providing environmental and behavioral enrichment opportunities. Perform repairs and preventative maintenance as necessary; maintain clean and organized exhibits, equipment, keeper areas and grounds. Will learn capture and restraint, raptor and mammal rehabilitation, assist with veterinary care, and special events planning.

This is at Jim Peck's Wildwood Wildlife Park. There are pictures of me there on facebook. That's right, the place with the huggable deer.

This is, however, over 4 hours from Milwaukee. I would need a car and an apartment. It only pays $6.50 an hour, I would be living alone and be 4 hours from my friends.

But the job sounds like what I want to do in life. That would be a quick shot into growing up. Living on my own, driving to work 40 hours a week....I don't know. I'll have to eventually.

Should I not go to the interview? Should I go to the interview and postpone worrying about the details until I for sure get the job?

I know I will be applying other, hopefully closer places before accepting working anywhere. So either way it's not certain.

Just the thought of getting a job similar to what I'll be doing in life scares me a little.