unwelcome repeat

I'm posting like crazy. 'Cos I'm bored. Deal.

I'm realizing that I'm sort of only superficially happy at the moment. I am in love with being at Shao Lin as much as possible (5 times in 8 days, 3.5+ hours each time) but this year/time in general is really messing with me. I talked to Hannah about this at length in the car on the way back from Madison/dropping Katy off... I'll develop these thoughts here later I guess, but I just wanted to put it out there while it was on my mind. I'm in a good mood, yeah; I get to see close friends and live with my favorite family and do kung fu all the time, and I don't have classes or homework to worry about just yet, but there are so many stresses and things on my mind. I'm good at worrying. And I do it a lot.

Freshman year of college is sort of reflecting 6th grade for me. And I loathed 6th grade. It was pretty much the worst year of my life. (Fuck you, 2001-02.) But. I got through it. It didn't last forever. So this won't, either. I got through that, I'll get through this too, and be really happy again. I'm already ready for it to change... but I might have a ways to go yet. Anyway. Bedtime, up early tomorrow. Joy joy.

They say, "This too shall pass."
all the worrying about the future and money and guys and friends and what to do and where to go and how to do it...will work itself out. somehow.