crikey

well girls, there's someone you ought to meet:

(No wonder I'm still single. You don't find these in high school.)

It's Hugh Jackman as Drover in the movie Australia. We're getting married. Oh yeah.

Merry Christmas!

In honor of Christmas, I thought I'd do a blog about religion.

Christianity, specifically, is very strange. Mary was either the a. most insane b. most clever c. most honest person on earth. Either she was on some kind of drug and thought a rapist was an angel and really wasn't a virgin, got pregnant as a teenager out of wedlock and decided to say an angel did it, or she was telling the truth.

The latter, let me tell you, would suck. If God came up to me and said "Hey, you're pretty, you're going to have my kid. Since I'm God, you have no choice in the matter." I would be pissed. First of all, you didn't even get to have sex. Second, you're a virgin. There is not room for a baby there. that would be PAINFUL.

So it's either the most brilliant and successful scheme/lie ever, or true.

I have difficulty believing it. Especially since I know the arc story is false. God did not create animals to procreate within their own families, it messes up the genes. So the whole two by two concept is a lie. Then the logic leads to "what else is untrue/unrealistic?"

But then why did Jesus stick with it? We know he was a real person. We know he got a ton of people mad enough to kill him. This guy was willing to die instead of give it up, if it was a lie. And if his parents invented the lie, why would he continue to live it? Why not say "Just kidding guys" the instant somebody walked up with 6 inch nails and a giant mallet? Could someone be THAT fame thirsty?

I'd kill for DNA testing back then...

I don't know what to believe. I don't think a world that runs this smoothly just magically appeared. But I also don't think I can believe a lot of the side stories.

Switching Time!

Okay,
So switching my major has definitely gone from a consideration to a decision. I am now an RTF major. Sadly all the rtf course were full for next semester. However, I still dropped 2 bis classes, so that now I am only in micro econ (the more useful one for my business). Now instead I am taking another course towards my French minor and a history class (europe since 1914 ^.^). So yeah. Big decision but I feel so much happier right now. I'll still take some class to help me manage my business but I wont go completely crazy in all of the unecessary courses I would hate! Yay! Not having 3 econs makes next semester seem so much less daunting.

musings

I write too much.
...Far too much.

In other news, I'm pondering a different title for the TTL blog. When I was creating it I was too impatient to get creative and just used the title from my livejournal. But it'd be kind of nice to have something new, the LJ was created almost 2 years ago now, and I'm hardly the same person anymore. Ideas? Change the title yes/no? And if yes...to what??

Major Considerations

So today I was talking my mother and my brother about RTF (radio-tv-film). We were watching a football game and I was saying how cool I thought it would be to be the person directing it. So then we talked about my activity with the rtf program at school and the possiblity of switching my major. Not necessarily changing what I do with my life, just changing to a major that would give me a more interesting and enjoyable four years. Cause see the thing with a business major is a don't really need all the classes for what I want to do with my life. If I stick with my current major I will be forced to take things like "Econ Bis Stats" and "Fundamentals of Finance" and "Essentials of Human Resources Management". None of the those classes sound even vaguely interesting to me. But more importantly none of those classes are useful to running a small business either!

What I would then do if I switched to an RTF major is I would do all the requirements for that major and then take some bis classes to help me run my photo studio. Which really wouldn't be that hard because the rtf major has a significantly lighter course load than business. So I would have time for more elective courses. I really think it might work and would probably make me less miserable since the rtf people are much cooler than the business people.

Anyway, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet but I really just needed to get those thoughts out there.

(Five Blog Posts in a day, Can you believe it?)

Cry For Help

Someone please save me before it's too late!! The S'mores you all know and love ((-_-, don't even...)) is becoming domestic!! It all started innocently enough with doing laundry at school, keeping my dorm room organized so I could study, etc... I was still the one and only s'mone, more interested in kung fu, too many languages, and endless blogging, who scoffed at doing dishes (I have done dishes a total of 2 times in the 4 months I've been at school) and has yet to vacuum/sweep the dorm floor (ew).

Yet then the girls and I baked cookies in the tiny dorm kitchen (pics on photobucket/facebook)...and then I spent lots of yesterday cleaning and organizing and getting settled at my mom's...and then last night Morgen and I baked a shit ton of purely delightful sugar cookies (more pics on facebook/photobucket)...today, post Shao Lin, was more cleaning and putting up the tree and house things (and, god forbid, I'm about to go do dishes for the second time in two days)...

...oh noes!

Brownies!!

So on the very appropriate subject of chocolate, I am baking the best brownies ever this weekend. We are taking desserts to Christmas and I thought I would show you all the incredibly awesome brownies I am taking to Christmas so that you all may be incredibly jealous.

Best Brownies Ever!

Home

It's interesting being home. My life at school is fairly drama free. Nothing big or important ever happens. This house is just so entirely full of drama. It's honestly really hard to handle after being away. My mom just takes everything too seriously, life to her is a big drama. Everything is important and my fault and i just need a break from my family again. Which is amusing considering I've only been home for one week of my seven week break....

(sn) ooooowww!

Graah! So much snow! I love it but it does tend to interfere with my plans...especially when I do not have my own car. My mom doesn't want me taking hers to Shao Lin tonight...I'm sure my dad won't want to either...and I'm supposed to meet Morgen there and then have her come back with me. And then go again tomorrow morning. :P I am so sore from Wednesday night and from shoveling this morning... and I bruised my index finger today too, I hit the main knuckle against the table really hard. (ow.)

I totally just saw my mom pretend her camry was a champion winter vehicle and reverse through the snow the plow piled at the end of our driveway, bahaha. I'm glad she made it though or I would've needed to go out there and shovel her out... (I like that she can go to work but I can't go to Shao Lin because "I know you're a good snow driver but I'm worried someone might hit you.") Yes I understand why she would think work warrants a car and Shao Lin doesn't, but it's going to be closed for the next two weeks and I really want to go while I can! Plus think how awesome I would feel if I'm already this sore from Wednesday and then went tonight and tomorrow morning too. It would be sweet.

Picture update:

<--Where I sleep now

~~~Look how perfectly the snow fell on the balcony railing!

Stir Crazy (but not the cool restuarant)

Rawr! I have been basically sitting in my house since I come home from smores' wednesday. I while the LOTR sleepover was excellent I need more socialization, that's the only friend interaction I've had since coming home. (Sorry Jonny you don't count as friend interaction). And the stupid snow definitely threw a wrench in my plans. Cause I had morning plans with ang where-in we were going to go to east so I was going to see alot of people and I'm definitely bummed that that didnt happen. O well. It's silly but I feel like why have an awesome new hair cut if no one gets to see it?

Speaking of the hair cut, that was so nerve racking. My hair dresser was running late so I sat in the waiting room with my hair ponytailled off for like 30 minutes. I seriously thought I was going to lose my nerve. It's still super strange. Especially showering, It's amazing how much less shampoo/conditioner you need when you cut off almost 14 inches of your hair. I think I kind of love it though. Like alot. It's really weird... but rather adorable. You all need to see it!!!

I am done with chemistry for life! Now I just have to pray that I got between a 48-99% so I can keep my C. >.> Because of that useless gap I had a really hard time studying...which did not help. Ah well. Que cera, cera or however you spell it.

One more exam left, all it is is an essay. Watch a few speeches, do some critiquing, then get the heck out of here.

I want to go home so badly. Dad's picking me up around 3, then we have another 3 hour drive to menomonie to get Sarah, then a 5 hour drive back home. Shoot me now. Somebody needs to invent a teleporter already!

My cousin's wedding is two days after christmas and I'm really excited! The bridesmaids' dresses are this gorgeous floor length deep red color, then we get white shawls and muffs with a little sprig of holly on them. It will be sooooo pretty. I'm also happy Reid is coming, though I do feel awful because I hadn't realized that I couldn't eat with him. So he's stuck alone (aka hanging out with Sarah and Tony...which really shouldn't be that bad, I hope. I think he and Tony would get along well.) for a while. I'm glad you guys get to meet him soon though! It's weird having people who are so important to you that have never met each other.

Boredom. My exam doesn't start for 45 minutes and I just want to eat something, pack up, then go home. Oh well.

Hope you ladies (and Jon) are having a wonderful break so far, I'll see you soon!

我很緊張!! I AM SO NERVOUS!! I have been reading my Chinese textbook since 9am. Dear god. QWEOyzdlkjxfbhaiorghlkjaasdfkzhfbmhpiew.

In other awesome news, it rained all yesterday morning (then froze = ice) and snowed all afternoon/night. So it's lovely and snowy but IT IS ALSO -8*F (and with windchill, "feels like -27")!! Therefore when I walk 20+ minutes to my final, I will be wearing jeans and a sweater, plus two pairs of leggings, free REI socks, snowboots, fuzzy socks on my hands (no mittens!) and a giant Columbia coat from Claire instead of my peacoat. And a sweater and a hat.

But right now I'm just chilling in jeans and a sweater minus all the layers, in my dorm room...with the window open. Or, not chilling; saturating my brain with Chinese characters.

...also, has anyone else noticed that it is less than two weeks to Christmas? o_O;

Lazy Day

Well I was going to be productive today...But then I woke up this morning and for some reason the house is 60.... and while that isnt that cold when you are outside it is rather cold as a temperature for your house. I managed to make myself exercise this morning but now post shower i think i shall stay in bed until the house gets a bit warmer. So much for a productive day.

Aaack I can't study.

My hardest class is chemistry. I can get a 50%-99% and I will be stuck with a C. So I have absolutely no motivation to study for my hardest class because it won't. do. crap. Great!

Natural resources tomorrow. Hooray. Two exams down, 4 to go. Already did my natural resources lab exam and tai chi exam, not hard at all. I'm going to miss tai chi a LOT.

I get to sleep in tomorrow! And no exams on tuesday.

I see you guys in less than a week! EEEE!

so. many. languages.

Katie! you should post something interesting about your pre-finals weekend so I have something fascinating to read on my 'my-brain-needs-a-break-from-studying' time.

Kat! I can't wait to see you on Tuesday :) My megabus ticket says the amtrak station arrival will be at 1pm. I'll call you while on the bus to let you know if we're still on time. My guess is 1-130 but hopefully not later than that!! :D The bus stop is, if you're standing facing the amtrak station, on the street to your left, in front of a big parking lot. There's a reeeeeally tiny bus stop sign that says megabus on it. I'll find you. :) Plus, the bus is either blue or purple and ginormous, you can't miss it.

Home!

I am super psych'd to get home. Seven weeks for friends, christmas and jon! It's super super super exciting *bounces up and down*. I'm soo impatient! I'm getting a ride home with victoria piel and her dad is leaving after work to get us and I just want him to get here already. I've been done since noon! I need out! Although I am happy that I've had the whole room to myself for the day. I'll miss lauren though. It's weird she's so unemotional and detached, I'm her only friend here and we never even really said goodbye. How sad that I will probably never see her again. I mean I can't say we were that close... She is a very private person, doesn't let people in easily. I get the feeling she has a lot more scars than she admits to. Well I mean you'd have to with two alcholic parents who are divorced. I heard her step mom (Also an alcoholic) on the phone with her once and she is not a pleasant drunk... I worry for her living at home. She acts like it's all just fine but I think she is much more damaged then she admits to.

I really hope I don't get a roomate next semester, I love my room the way it is right now as a single.

dreamblog

Well hell, that was such a weird vivid dream. (I totally slept in my contacts too so when I opened my eyes and was able to see it was very disorienting.)

Anyway, first my dad was dropping me off for a canoe trip which would be including my mom, Aunt Monica, Baylen, and other family members. For some reason I had totally forgotten to pack. So I did not have extra contacts or pajamas or sunscreen or I think even a swimsuit or anything, I forget. Anyway, apparently the spot we were at to launch our boats was where we had launched them last year (my dad and I had shared a canoe I think) and it was really really difficult and narrow and fast, and he kept demanding that we launch them across this little inlet where there was sand, yet for some reason we'd have to swim over dragging the canoes instead of just start canoeing. I really wanted to go the hard way (my dad wasn't coming this time; Baylen and I were going to be in the same canoe) because I knew we could do it and you know me, I always pick the more challenging way to do something. I learned how to steer a canoe last summer (Katy taught me at the cottage!!) and I wanted to go for it. Baylen was not being his usual controlling self and said he'd let me sit in the back/steer sometimes if I wanted to. @_@ Anyway we did end up swimming for that other isle thing, I don't know why. I almost got stuck in these really weird weed things growing from the bottom, they were wrapping themselves around my arms and legs and I accidentally held onto someone else and they started going down, so I let go and almost got pulled to the bottom, which was way deeper than it should have been. Anyway. I was really good at steering. (My mom wasn't at all, I had to teach her -- for some reason she and I were sharing a canoe at one point) Then somehow we were canoeing past these huge castle like structures. So naturally everyone else disappears and Baylen and I go to investigate. (Somehow I am able to magically carry our canoe all by myself.) So we are climbing around these sandstone castles and towers and bridges. There's some sinister feeling like someone is following or watching from down below. Anyway.

Then it switched to me heading back to Shao Lin, but it wasn't actually Shao Lin and only Jules and Mitch and then random unknown people were there (wtf). And I was realizing with horror that I wasn't getting that thrilled-overwhelmed-with-love-and-crazy-excitement feeling to be back this time. Then all of the sudden I was getting out of a huge white truck (Dustin's? But he wasn't there?) on some red dirt road at some house in the middle of nowhere, which was apparently the Moraines', but Morgen didn't show up til later. Anyway the next part is hard to remember but suddenly I was just an observer, I wasn't actually there - I was still at the canoe trip. And two guys were looking for me? or something? I don't exactly remember what was going on next, but a Ben/Dustin-type-person (who wasn't quite them but was like them? he was my real brother in the dream anyway, and both of them are eligible) wouldn't help them find me. And this brother was a really good fighter, but they couldn't be beat. (all of a sudden I was seeing the dream from his vantage point, running, hiding then ambushing, being all acrobatic and climbing away -- and one of them was always right there; the other one stood outside by the door and the white truck/red dirt road) The guy after "me"/my brother was too big, my attacks weren't fazing him at all. I was caught in a net at one point - escaped somehow - still couldn't take him down. I even made it up the wall by climbing up some flags or something, and then made it to the second floor (he was already there) and then through some weird secret door which turned out to be a door to the outside of the house; I made my way along this ledge outside, planning on coming around to the front door to take out the one guy there, and then come in the house behind the other guy...I look down and he is beneath me, looking up. Gaaaah! I get down there and fight him again, and basically get the shit beat out of me (thank god you don't feel pain in dreams, right?) and finally I have had enough. Somehow I decide I have to stop (I can't beat him or affect him at all!!) and he takes "me" away (except now I'm not seeing it from his perspective anymore, I'm observing) and who knows where they were going to take me; they wanted me (as in me me, not me being my brother) and thought they could get to me through him, I'm guessing. (haha, firefly? :P) What's interesting is that I/brother didn't actually get hurt. I was not bruised or broken or bloody or anything when I finally stopped fighting. I also never actually dreamed through getting totally crushed, I just knew it happened. Huh.

THEN Morgen appears from somewhere and runs all distraught to the white truck, by which she somehow knows what has happened. Somehow I am there now (but still back on the canoe trip simultaneously, wtf) and we know we HAVE to get to wherever it is we're canoeing and warn me. (how twisted does this get)

unfortunately I start to forget it all/start waking up around this point, but Morgen was taking the truck to go find me, and somehow I was telepathically picking up that distress signal (now as me back on the canoe trip) because Baylen and I were still exploring these castle buildings that were just in the middle of the waterway. So then everyone heads back to the giant river and I get to do some fancy steering around buildings as we're trying to "get away" and then I just kept waking up and couldn't fall asleep anymore. :(

It certainly was interesting, though.

Interesting Night

Sorry for the disappearance yesterday, ladies!

It was a rather interesting night. This guy, Evan, knocked on our door and asked for super glue. I'm in some classes with him...well, almost all of them until he dropped chemistry and I dropped firefighting. So I asked what he needed it for.

He said "Well, for my head."

Wtf? So turns out he slammed his head into the edge of the loft, a thing I have done probably about 5 times now, and managed to make himself bleed...rather a lot. And he was of the opinion that supergluing it back together was a good idea. Now I know they have medical glue...but that's not sanitary!

He's okay now, turned out to be just a lot of bleeding for a little wound.

When can I call you guys today? I'm free before 12, between 3 and 4, and after 5. Tuesdays are my complicated hell days. >.>

Love you both!

Being Bold

So I friended this girl from my choir on facebook. She seems really nice and actually possibly intelligent. I really don't know how to non-creepily turn a nice seeming person from an acquaintance to a friend, but I will figure it out. But either way I am proud of myself for at least taking a same first step. The more of those I manage to do the more friends I'll have right? I just need to make a couple friends in each of my classes next semester and then it will be okay. Cause if you add those to the kind of friends I have already, maybe that will be enough. I hope.

gorram it

I don't really understand myself sometimes. Or most of the time. Last night was fun but just...sort of awkward for me, because it seems like he pretty much likes me a lot, and for me...I didn't really feel that way back. He'd be a great friend. And I'll keep hanging out and seeing what happens I guess, but I don't want to lead him on or anything if there's really nothing there for me. And Kat, I know you said I always do this, but this isn't the same as before. This time I'm not pushing away someone because I'm afraid they like me (Jake, Tyler, Nic, Adrian); this time I'm not being completely oblivious (Dan?!); this time I'm not ignoring someone I like because I'm too scared to do anything about it (Baylen) or giving up too soon when they're shy too (Nate). This is me trying to give it a chance and really not feeling anything back. At least as far as I can tell. I sort of had fun last night, but, it more felt sort of...sad? Because he likes me and doesn't know what to do, and because I want to get to know him but think we should be friends? (Does it count as overanalyzing when you're just confused, Jon?) He gave me a hug goodbye and instead of being excited (remember me the first time Baylen and I hugged, Katie? you were there) I was just like "ohh...hm."

Oh and you were right, Katie--peppermint-spiked hot chocolate is really good.

PMS, Strep and a Speech Contest

I really think the universe deserves a good solid bitch slapping. Today, I have the speech contest that I have been thinking about since the beginning of the semester. I planned to spend the day practicing. However, I discovered yesterday I probably have strep. It's not all that bad yet but I do have a sore throat, a bitch of a headache, and a fever. And you know what makes today even more fun!! According to where I am in my pill pack I will probably get my period today. You know some days I really think the universe is working against me.

D'aww

So I've been in a retroactively bad mood today. Just bad things happening. Fell up the stairs, everything from last night/yesterday, some really odd dreams/day dreams. Not enough sleep too.

Walking home from David's, I got a text message. It said "Look out your window"

So I did.

Katie + Reid. Reaaally big. And he's standing next to it, his hands in a heart. I almost cried for the third time in the past 24 hours. D'aww.

Job Interview

I wrote my first resume today, sent in my first resume, and got my first call for a job interview today.

This is the job description: Carry out all aspects of the daily care of assigned animals including cleaning, feeding, observing and evaluating animal conditions and behaviors. Participate in daily educational programs and communicate with and assist guests. Providing environmental and behavioral enrichment opportunities. Perform repairs and preventative maintenance as necessary; maintain clean and organized exhibits, equipment, keeper areas and grounds. Will learn capture and restraint, raptor and mammal rehabilitation, assist with veterinary care, and special events planning.

This is at Jim Peck's Wildwood Wildlife Park. There are pictures of me there on facebook. That's right, the place with the huggable deer.

This is, however, over 4 hours from Milwaukee. I would need a car and an apartment. It only pays $6.50 an hour, I would be living alone and be 4 hours from my friends.

But the job sounds like what I want to do in life. That would be a quick shot into growing up. Living on my own, driving to work 40 hours a week....I don't know. I'll have to eventually.

Should I not go to the interview? Should I go to the interview and postpone worrying about the details until I for sure get the job?

I know I will be applying other, hopefully closer places before accepting working anywhere. So either way it's not certain.

Just the thought of getting a job similar to what I'll be doing in life scares me a little.

design*sponge is an awesome blog.

and I really want to make this RIGHT NOW.

god damn ittttt.

i was in an irritated mood for no reason and then my mom called and wanted to know what's new and nothing much is new, and i was totally not in the mood to talk to anyone, and she got really pissed and hung up after like...two minutes. cool.

now it's 4 on a saturday and i have fun things later to do but nothing right now and i'm all irritated. zmbfqwoeirudkahldkgjfhs. it's like i simultaneously want people to leave me alone and people to hang out with right now. whatever. grr.

(I had a dream yesterday where a talking mouse decided to try and put a bridle on an alligator and use it as a horse. I never found out if it succeeded.)

Animals

The hunters here are starting to anger me. Yes, I understand the need for hunting. But some of these people are just sick. Guys, mostly.

One of them, in my comm class, gave a speech about how wolves and feral cats should be hunted. They are simply nuisances and do not belong in Wisconsin. And any other method is "just f***ing stupid." Yes, he said that in his speech. as his argument. He believes that animals do not feel pain, that putting an arrow through a deer is the same as putting an arrow through your couch. Why? Because his dog got porcupine quills in it's face once and didn't yelp when they were pulled out like some wimpy human would.

Animals don't show pain until absolutely necessary, because in the wild that shows they are weak and will get them eaten. That does NOT mean it's okay to hurt any creature, that does NOT mean they don't feel.

And as for them having no emotions? Have you ever been within ten yards of an animal? Watch squirrels play, see how your dog reacts when you're upset. They are more keenly attuned to emotions than we are! They mourn and have joy and anger just like us. But theirs is a purer sort, in my opinion. They have reactions for reasons. Someone tries to kill your baby, you get pissed and attack the predator. Your mate dies, you don't take another one. (I <3 albatross.) They don't know what drama is, they don't have bad days where they decide their day will be horrible and make it that way. They simply are, they simple react.

Let's put an arrow through your stomach and see how you feel. Or shoot all of your friends "just because they move" and because "I think they are less than humans."

I almost walked out of that class yesterday. And don't even get me started on animal testing girl.

I'm beginning to miss you both immensely. (Beginning, ha ha.)
Let's make plans for thanksgiving! So we make sure it happens with our crazy schedules and large families.

Also, Kat, I really love that you are watching firefly too. :D

So I slept in through my extra credit Spanish presentation...which I really needed to do. Because I got a 13/50 on my first test and it would have replaced that...dangit. I needed that so badly.

My eyes are red again, I stopped taking that medicine because I thought it was gone. And I have a chemistry quiz tomorrow. Hooray.

His quizzes seem to have the same amount of information to study as his exams...how does that work?

Trevor got really sick this week. He turned yellow and shriveled and got really cold. We put him in a hot water bath and sprayed him with hot water. We tried for an hour to get him to eat on his own and finally had to force feed him. It worries me because I still haven't seen him eat on his own and I can't seem to find what causes that. I've spent a lot of time on google and some say frogs normally change color and others say he's too cold but the temperature hasn't changed much.

I've been decent lately though. A certain person makes me really happy and seems to make anything bad seem trivial. And gives awesome comfort hugs. <3

photo paper discovery

I just found my pack of photo paper and needed a distraction, so I figured out how to print pictures!! :) Katie and Kat and Katy and Hannah, you are now on my bulletin board behind the laptop screen. As are the Shao Lin folk. ^_^

And my roommate and I are making ourselves sick eating loads of peanut m&ms. <3 <3 <3

Why yes, my research paper's on Taoism

"What's this you're writing?" asked Pooh, climbing onto the writing table.

"The Tao of Pooh," I replied.

"The how of Pooh?" asked Pooh, smudging one of the words I had just written.

"The Tao of Pooh," I replied, poking his paw away with my pencil.

"It seems more like the ow! of Pooh," said Pooh, rubbing his paw.

"Well, it's not," I replied huffily.

"What's it about?" asked Pooh, leaning forward and smearing another word.

"It's about how to stay happy and calm under all circumstances!" I yelled.

"Have you read it?" asked Pooh.

That was after some of us were discussing the Great Masters of Wisdom, and someone was saying how all of them came from the East, and I was saying that some of them didn't, but he was going on and on, just like this sentence, not paying any attention, when I decided to read a quotation of Wisdom from the West, to prove that there was more to the world than one half, and I read:

"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"

"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"

"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.

Pooh nodded thoughtfully.

"It's the same thing," he said.

"What's that?" the Unbeliever asked.
"Wisdom from a Western Taoist," I said.
"It sounds like something from Winnie-the-Pooh," he said.
"It is," I said.
"That's not about Taoism," he said.
"Oh, yes it is," I said.
"No, it's not," he said.
"What do you think it's about?" I said.
"It's about this dumpy little bear that wanders around asking silly questions, making up songs, and going through all kinds of adventures, without ever accumulating any amount of intellectual knowledge or losing his simpleminded sort of happiness. That's what it's about," he said.

"Same thing," I said.

-Benjamin Hoff, Foreword, The Tao of Pooh

friiiidaaaay, field trip day!

Eeeee it's snowing and Dustin is almost heeeeeereeeee!

and I don't think I completely failed either of my two language teeeessssstsssss!!

why yes, I have perked up a bit, thank you for asking.

TGIF!

In the light of day and in a much better mood, my weekend will probably actually be pretty fabulous. Tonight I'm volunteering as a poker dealer til 11 and then chilling with dana and jackie. And then tomorrow Dana and I are spending the whole day in chicago. Which should be awesome... even though Im rather broke. And then Sunday Jon is driving up at least for a couple hours. So all in all this will actually probably be an excelllent weekend.

Going Home

I just got a call from jon's grandmother. I could go home saturday. I could ditch my twenty bucks for chicago trip and see katie and jon. It's so hard to convince myself that it's more important to stay here and connect. I was excited about my weekend. But now Im not cause all I can think is that I would be happier back there. Grrrr.... I hate this. I really do. And Lauren's distant. It's not her fault, I am her closest friend here. But she like... doesn't connect right? I keep thinking from time to time that she doesn't actually like me and then she's shows in some way that she does but it often doesn't seem like it. I think the way she acts toward friendship is just a different reaction to having alchoholic parents. I feel a need to overconnect. Instead she is distant. It just sucks cause she is my only friend here but like... doesnt count me or something? Cause she might transfer at semester and it feels like the fact that that would leave me alone and miserable doesn't really matter? I donno. Im pmsing like mofo maybe it's just that. Not having friends sucks. I feel so lethargic lately.... It's like I don't have the energy to go out and actually try to make friends. Besides ... there aren't really any people I want to know better anyway.

i'm flooding this blog, sorry

I dunno what it is, but I just feel down a lot lately. Good moods are fleeting at best. I don't do anything very exciting; I just procrastinate homework, do homework, don't get enough sleep, don't eat enough, repeat. I've exhausted the usual methods of cheering myself up -- even extensively talking to all my favorite people not here doesn't make me laugh out loud... (I used to be on such a high from talking to everyone for hours and hours, I'd grin randomly in the middle of French and be completely distracted...) But now I just feel kinda sad. I feel so distant from everything (and everyone) that's important to me...

and now my mood tends to be as grey as the weather. :(

Evan Jones posted this article to facebook

http://news.aol.com/article/is-it-cool-to-be-an-american-abroad/238998

(about an expat in Vienna)

We don't have to pretend we're Canadian anymore!

according to plan...

(...now I have that song stuck in my head. :P)

I've figured out my schedule for next semester!! Now, as long as everything works out during registration (no classes fill up before I'm allowed to sign up), I'll be all set! Oooh, and I found out that I'm registering as a sophomore next semester, which is awesome. :) I've got to share my hopeful schedule with someone, so you're the lucky ones.

Mondays
1:25-2:15 Chinese lecture
2:30-3:20 Chinese discussion

Tuesdays
8:45-10 Meteorology lecture (in St. Paul! $%#&!)
10:15-11:30 Meteorology lab
12:45-2 "The Fantastic in East Asia: Ghosts, Foxes, and the Alien" (ahahaha!)
2:30-3:20 Chinese discussion

Wednesdays
1:25-2:15 Chinese lecture
2:30-3:20 Chinese discussion
6:20-9:30 Understanding Cultures (on the West bank... not cool...)

Thursdays
8:45-10 Meteorology lecture
12:45-2 Fantastic in East Asia
2:30-3:20 Chinese discussion
3:35-6 Fantastic in East Asia - film showings

Fridays
2:30-3:20 Chinese discussion

what's up!! what d'you think?

Hells yes we can!

Just imagine the places this country is going.

We just elected an African American president. An eloquent president. A president who is actually aware of the times and the people and our generation. He sends out information via text message, for goodness sake.

I figured it was coming but simultaneously I'm thrilled!

I had a large amount of respect for McCain and would not have minded him winning either. It was his VP that was the problem. May she go back to putting on lipstick by the hockey rink and stay there.

Look what we've accomplished, America!

Now we just need to calm the shoot-everything-that-moves-republicans at my school.

Historryyyy!!

Watching this election is so exciting. It's so epic!!!! We VOTED in this election!! :D
This is so fabulous. The Senate races are turning up largely Democratic also. It's not over til it's over, but it's looking pretty promising now. This is so excitinnnng...we're watching history!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/us_elections_2008/7700298.stm

Live updates via our favorite, BBC!
I like how they say "BEARehk OBAMehr." :P

PS-- I was the 665th voter at my polling place. And the 667th ballot turned in. I average out to be the demon voter. ^_^;

Final Destination - Dorm Room Style

Now I've only seen part of one of the final destination movies but I think I may be in one of them.... My dorm room is trying to kill me. My bulletin board has now hit me in the head 3 times.... and last night I fell off my loft. If some one finds me dead, you'll all know why. Damn murderous bulletin board.

FUCK THAT.
I TAKE IT BACK.

nothin' better

In the true spirit of this blog:

Ben&Jerry's (and brothers in North Carolina) make everything better.

I'm confused.

I posted about my Halloween, in case you missed it.

No Place like My Lack of Home

I feel so disconnected lately. I don't really have people in Oshkosh and I don't really have people back here. I tried to throw a halloween party but none of friends who is still in school here could/wanted to come. That was bizarrely painful. I mean many of them had valid excuses but still it sucks. I don't really have a place to belong...Part of that is certainly my fault. If you are gone every other weekend people don't really get a chance to connect with you.

And the people I do connect with are too much like me. They are always gone too. I was there the last weekend. But only some of my friends stayed. O well. And there is this chicago outing Dana invited me too but I have no money. I can't afford twenty bucks for transportation and then what I would pay for food and whatever I decided to buy while there. I only have 60 bucks for the rest of the month... so really. That won't cover usual expenses much less extravagent trips.

I don't know I just feel like I have no where to be where I have people. Rawr! I never thought I would miss highschool but I kind of do. O well. This too shall pass. (btw I am also pmsing and am not usually this depressed about my social life. It's just a bad mood.)

fear

I amuse myself sometimes. In an ironic, really-not-funny way.

This is a pretty good time of year to be talking about fear. (Oh hey, happy November 1st! Woooo!) But last night just got me thinking. You know when people would ask "What are you most afraid of?" and you get all the classic answers like "I'm so afraid of deep water" or "Definitely spiders" or "I can't stand heights." That question always made me pause, because I never could think of anything. Deep water? Sure, it's eerie, and drowning would suck. Spiders? I have no great love of them but except for exceedingly large gross ones I usually just ignore them or move them outside. My stomach drops if I'm really high up but I love it at the same time (and I especially love flying). So for a short, blissful while several years ago, I thought "Well, I guess I'm really not scared of anything."

Ahaha. Yeeahhhhh, okay.

That would be more accurately put as "I'm not scared of any thing." There aren't specific objects (or arachnids) that I can claim as my "worst fear." But hell, I'm one of the scared-est people I know. We all know I'm terrible at handling scary movies. I have the obvious number one fear, shared with most girls I know, of rape. But while that heads the list, god, there are so many other things.

And that's hard for me, since I'm the kind of person who doesn't like to admit personal "weakness" because I feel like it's not okay to be scared of things, that people will find me lacking in character or something, I don't know. I'm the girl who, when hanging out with a ton of guy friends, finds it really important to "fit in" and not fill the stereotypic image of the girl who just "doesn't get it." Funnily enough, I tend to fit in just fine. A large part of "guy humor" does, in fact, amuse me; I love action/spy movies; I know the name of the sporty car flying past us better than half the guys in the group, and it's me who recognizes the Mazda Miata MX-5 in the parking lot (True story. Me: "Hey, is that seriously a Miata?!" Girl in heels: "I think it's a Mazda, isn't it?" David, to me: "Wow, you're right, it is." Girl: "But I really thought that logo was a Mazda..." Me: "It is... it's a Mazda. Miata. MX-5." Girl: "Ohhh...haha!" X_x;;). I don't know that I could actually fight somebody (more on that later), but I do study martial arts -- something that Nate, for one, never seemed to be able to accept. Anyway, the great thing is, it's not a show I'm putting on -- I'm not trying to pretend, I'm just like that. My friend Claire (bless her) had her boyfriend come up one weekend, and she tried to pretend like she knew what we were talking about and her boyfriend and I would just laugh at her total lack of logical reasoning. Haha, we had a good time. Iono, just how I am I guess. (The car thing, at least, is definitely hereditary.) I've even found that with my mom sometimes -- I have very distinct aspects of both of my parents -- she just doesn't think like my dad and I do sometimes. (I think I think more like my dad but act more like my mom.) Anyway, I digress. A lot. Sorry.

So that's a huge fear of mine - not fitting in; being judged for being different or for not measuring up to expectations; not being accepted. That came into play a lot at Shao Lin too -- remember how nervous I was at being the youngest, the only girl, and not able to fight? (I was even afraid of tornado kicks, for crying out loud.) That's also why it was (and sometimes is still) so hard for me to initiate things sometimes (email, IM, text...etc), because I'm afraid I'll be "bothering" someone. I hold them in such high regard; they can't possibly like me nearly half as much as I like them. How annoying must they find this little girl... (etc.) That falls more into the realm of self-doubt than fear, but it's all connected.

I'm afraid of not being able to fight or protect the ones I care about; I want desperately to be able to do so but I'm incredibly afraid. Then there are the things like diving - I still can't dive into a pool or a lake. Throwing myself headfirst? I'm afraid I'll get hurt. I can't trust myself. That was the same reason I was afraid of cartwheels. (Look! There's something good we can accredit to Lucas. I can now do decent cartwheels.)

But the whole thing that got me thinking about this was last night. (No, not exactly because it was Halloween.) I hung out with Alan (aaaand now my brothers know his name...) the whole night, and it was super fun. (No marshmallows were necessary, Katie. God.) I had a great time, but when I got back I realized just how terrified I am of relationships. Right now we are indeed just friends and getting to know each other and whatever, but I don't think it's unrealistic to think the possibility is there. And I am physically ready for a relationship and have wanted one for how long now, and it gets down to it and I freak out. Like always. When Tyler asked me to homecoming junior year? Terrified. When Nate asked me to junior prom? Same story. Remember that Adrian kid who was at our choir concert? I freaked out when he called me at home (he got my number where...?) and invited me to his aunt's play (she's the one in our choir). I didn't go. And everytime a friend would be like "Hey Simone, Nic likes you..." I would just be like "Ohhh, no." And I would never believe it, either. "Dan liked me? No way."

(Sidenote: Wow, this is turning out to be a really fitting post for the PMS blog...heh...)

But you see what I mean? I always pushed them away. I like people I could never have, because I think on a subconscious level I know that since it can't happen, I won't be obligated to do anything about it. And then I get frustrated that I'm 18 and don't know the first thing about relationships or ... anything involved with them.

So it was a fun night, but left me scared, and not in a traditional Halloween way.
There are so many things I don't know.

Happy Halloween!

I'm being a gangster for Halloween. Why? So I could buy/wear a fedora. It's adorable, but has a little diamond circle on it which I'm not too happy with. Headed to Oshkosh (Dangit Kat, why are you going home THIS weekend?) with David and Reid to party with their friends. Sober party, of course.

I haven't really had the urge to drink yet. Everyone thought I'd become an avid party goer because I was sheltered in high school. But really? Haven't felt like it. Sure, I'm curious, but at the same time I've seen a lot of stupid things happen to a lot of stupid people and don't care to join their ranks. Especially the kind who get drunk and cheat on their respective boyfriends/girlfriends.

A lot of girls here keep falling for the worst type of guy. It bothers me, they know it, they say "He's an ass, but I can't help but fall for him." Seriously? Have more respect for yourself than that, ladies! I waited 18 years to avoid that, and I'm happier than I've ever been. Sure, every girl is different, but I'm fairly certain it's a veeeery small amount of masochistic women who enjoy being treated like objects or trophies to be collected.

Having snow ball fights is illegal on campus. You could hurt someone. What the hell? What's next, snow men? Walking down the street? Breathing?

It's Jessie's birthday tomorrow, hooray!

I spent $20 on medicine where the bottle is less than an inch tall and about ten millimeters thick, no exaggeration.

hmm...

EDS Blog

My disease is kind of running my life lately. So I tend to talk more on this blog. I didn't want to spend all my time on this blog complaining about my disease. So I made another just for that. Don't feel obligated to read it. It's very whiny and was just made for me to complain. I just thought I'd explain where all my writing is....

"In order to live free and happily, one must sacrifice boredom.

...It is not always an easy sacrifice."

I wish I was more driven. I feel like I'm really driven mentally, but when it gets down to it I'm so lazy and unmotivated. I have all these grand schemes for getting everything done and being all productive and learning so much and then I get back from class and I'm just like "Mehhhhh..."

So far today is day 2 of a string of not-very-great days.

I did grin a little when I remembered, in my long talk with SiFu on Saturday, when we were talking about my classes and he said French and Italian were such "sexy languages." And that Chinese wasn't quite as sexy (we decided that it is very musical, and can still be sexy. XD) It's pretty entertaining to hear your SiFu say things like that. (Runner up: "I need to find the number for my email machine.")

Still though, I feel like I'm not working hard at all. While that's not really true, I still feel like I could, and should, be doing so much more, but all I really want to do is just chill and talk to people and do something fun. So I split the difference and end up doing nothing. It is currently a lose/lose situation. But I'm not entirely sure how to fix it.

oh lord, sorry

I write too much.

I mean it.

You all should really consider commenting if you have anything in particular to say. That way I'll know I'm not blogging in vain. (:P)

Snow!

While I'm not ready for this cold, I find the concept of snow really exciting. Hot cocoa, movies under a warm blanket, cuddling and watching the snow fall, snow ball fights (except they're illegal here) and snow men. Even if I haven't carved a pumpkin yet.

Going home was strange, again. It feels like high school again. Mom tries to make sure we're eating our vegetables and writing our thank you notes (A consistent issue between us. I understand I need to but every time she reminds me, I want to less.) and telling her where we'll be when. I'm not used to it any more, now I understand why Sarah used to get so cranky when she came home. It's like letting a puppy off a leash then putting it in a cage.

I didn't get to say goodbye to my dad either, he went to work "just to help with something quickly," he'd for sure be back before we left. Nope. I love my dad's hugs, I really needed one before I left. But instead I left from an empty house because my mom needed to drop my sister off.

i don't belong.

and AND

We all seem to have several not-fun things on our minds...

BUT WE'RE ALL GOING TO HAVE FABULOUS WEEKENDS. :D

<3 <3 <3

Ears are stupid

I got thrown into a pile of leaves today.

I have issues with hearing. I don't know if it's the ear infections or the tubes I had in my ears or what, but people never speak loud enough for me to hear. Which is a problem because I get made fun of so $)#@$(! much, and the guys always refuse to repeat what they say. So I sit there with a stupid look on my face while they laugh.

Midol and chocolate would fix this.

My Sucky Year

I've figured out the hardest part of this year of long distance relationship. My body is worse then last year, which really shouldn't surprise me. It is a degenerative disorder. I should expect that but I guess it hasn't sunk in yet. And the hardest part of that is that jon is my comfort. For most of the world I don't tell them my every pain. They aren't all important, and it would get irritating. But Jon I tell about all of it. And when he's here its just so nice to have a person who knows exactly whats going and can comfort me. I don't know how to explain the comfort part... but it really is easier to be in pain when there is someone there to take care of you.

*deep breath*

Thanks for listening to me rant, girls - on AIM or on the phone (and here of course). It helps to get it all out. I feel loads better :)

Claire and I went to the rec center tonight and now I'm in the laundry lounge about to begin my online French homework that will be due on Sunday at 12, but no way am I going to do it when my bus gets back at 11pm, so it's now or never. Working out made me feel way better, and I cleaned my room up before I left to work out and now I'm getting laundry done so I'm being all productive and that really helps improve my mood. (Plus I have peanut m&ms. Hell yeah.)

I'm letting go of my dad-frustrations and will worry about it later. For now, I'll just be excited - tomorrow night at this time I'll have 5 hours of megabus behind me and one to go!!!!!!

So close...

Lorraine Warren

So maybe my social life aint the best it could be but my activities rock. This post is a little delayed but Tuesday Speaker Series Sold out it's first speaker of the year. In fact we more than sold out, we had people stand in the back and were even breaking fire codes. Even cooler, I introduced Lorraine in front of 700 people! In addition, she wanted a copy of my poster because she really liked it. So I guess I'm doing my job right. What an excellent and rewarding activity. Plus the speaker was amazing. She has me pretty much convinced that ghosts are real.... which is rather scary actually.

ten things

1. I hate cramps.
2. It's cold, but I like that.
3. My room's a mess and I need to clean it. And do laundry.
4. Claire can't work out right after class and I'm thinking neither of us will be motivated to go later tonight...but hopefully we will anyway.
5. My hips are sore from yoga?? I guess I should stretch more.
6. I hate dorm food.
7. I still hate cramps.
8. GUESS WHAT TOMORROW IS
9. GUESS WHERE I'LL BE SATURDAY AT THIS TIME
10. I'm still really pleased with my 200 point paper. ^_^;

Minefield

http://news.cnet.com/8301-13505_3-10073252-16.html?tag=TOCmoreStories.0

Meet Minefield, the ridiculously fast version of firefox. This is your browser on speed and ten cups of coffee.

grr.

I cannot find this song anywhere!!!!

...---...

I can't do homework. Oh dear god. I've exhausted my usual internet distractions and am now sitting here staring at my AIM window hoping something will happen.

Everything is so overwhelming!
I need a reminder/external motivation for why I should get started. :(

Tips for Students New To College

Whether you're in high school now or about to transfer in.

1. Do not despair about friendships. Remember how long it took you to cultivate your current ones. They aren't going to just magically appear in college, you will find them. But effort is needed, it's not often you can sit around and have them come to you. Strike up conversations everywhere.

2. Watch what you spend. Food is expensive. Save enough money to be able to spend $15 to $20 a week, that should take care of unexpected expenses like gas, presents, and dinners out. Otherwise get a job on campus that pays that.

3. Walking shoes. I don't care how cute those heels are, tennis shoes are god.

4. Study. You need to read your chapters and take notes, or you will find yourself getting far worse grades than high school. You've got a lot more free time and a lot less busy work, so you need to keep up.

5. Watch out for creepers, there are a lot of them.

6. Stay honest.

7. Don't over party or make a fool of yourself. STDs are bad.

8. When they say no pets, they mean don'tlettheCAsfindout.

9. Take a language, they are a lot less busy work and a lot more actual learning than high school.

10. Futons are comfy and very useful.

11. Respect and talk to your roommate.

12. Keep your music down to a decent level if you don't want to make a whole building full of people hate you.

13. Keep yourself relaxed. Don't stress out too much.

14. Go on any trips and join any clubs you're interested in.

15. Don't be shy about who you are, it's how you find your niche.


And with that, ladies and gents, I bid you adieu.

The many wonders of having only male friends

So I'm sitting here on David's computer, watching him and Reid play a game called Resistance. Despite calling myself a gamer, I am awful at shooting games. I swear I'd have a Daffy Duck moment, where the gun gets plugged up and shoots you in the face, if that was possible. So, after our Call of Duty adventures, they haven't even offered to let me play this. Which is fine, and I know they'd let me try if I asked, but I'd just get in the way.

Regardless of the fact that it is simply a game, I dislike that feeling. I want to at least be equal, if not better. So hooray for discovering character flaws. I'm pretty sure that drives Reid crazy, I keep insisting on paying my half of things etc. I don't like feeling like I can't support myself. Nor do I like the feeling of owing someone something.

I need a day of being really feminine. I need to look adorable, wear some make up, and go out and do something that doesn't involve video games or testosterone. I want a day without misogynistic jokes. I'm sick of meeting guys and hanging out with them and seeing the stupid naked posters on their wall. You don't see girls with naked guys on their walls! Have a little respect and imagination, for god's sake. You don't need that crap to reassure everyone that you're a man and I'm sure the same picture isn't going to help you in...other ways time and time again. You also don't need to destroy your, and our ear drums with your absurdly loud music.

College makes me ask one question: "What are you trying to prove?"

NB

NB: I'm bored and messing with our sidebar/layout. You girls feel free to change the pictures up there - if you have a better quality one of the three of us, or want to change (or remove) the picture of you on the side. I'm trying to find a better picture for mine too. Just letting you both know to edit to your heart's desire ;)

<3 !!!

(also, this is so true.)

zhege zhoumo (so far)

This post comes chronologically before this one, so maybe you should read that first. Hang in there, I'm bored enough to be balancing two blogs right now.

Ballet last night was really fun! It was great to get dressed up all cute (read: grey sweaterdress, black leggings, red pashmina, red lipstick, ahaha) and Kim and Jennifer looked marvelous as always, and David drove us in Otto, the red stickshift BMW (someone please teach me how to drive stick now kthx) to the Fitzgerald Theatre in downtown St Paul and we just as a whole felt very classy. We laughed more than once about the majority of our fellow classmates (tongxue!) heading out for a night of getting completely trashed (tamen he pijiu!) while we were being so fabulous. ;)

The ballet was fun! They're not a super professional one so sometimes it seemed like they should have been more in unison than they were... but, having been in orchestra 6 years/playing in Carnegie Hall twice, I can hardly deny that I enjoy classical music, and they were so fluid and graceful it was fun to watch regardless. We spent much of the breaks between the four movements mocking Sarah Palin, since one of the ushers reminded us of her. Good. Times.

We hung out in Kim and Jenn's 4th floor room when we got back; Kim and I went down to the front desk to get Mulan and Jenn and David ran out to get us Ben&Jerry's, but it was closed, so they got those chocolate volcano things that are awesome from Applebee's instead. So then we just laid on Kim's bed/the blue chair and sang along to Mulan for the rest of the evening. :)

I was not woken up by the girls next door, though this morning there were a few semi-obscene things drawn on my board. Whatever, I can be immature with the best of them, so I don't really care. Good thing poor Katrina's at home this weekend though. Kim texted me this morning telling me that there's a costume contest at First Avenue (a club type thing downtown that I have not been to) and that I should go as Sarah Palin. (They loved that idea by the way.) If I find a good costume by then, I'd so do it.

Since Kim, Jenn, and David are from MN/know the Cities better than I do, I'm enlisting their help to figure out exactly what you spend your weekend doing when you're hosting a 27- and a 28-year-old... I really need to get out more. And rob a bank. Or, in this economy, perhaps several banks would be needed.

Now I feel like watching the Dark Knight. Boo.

Ate breakfast (at 145pm) alone this morning (afternoon) ... Claire's home and I'm semi-on my own. (Kim and Jenn aren't around either.) Oh! I texted Alan yesterday (he made the yoga first step so I figured I should make the texting first step. I am usually afraid to text people first [*cough* brothers] so I figured he might be also) just asking if the zombie crawl was coming up soon (I had a suspicion it was today). He and his roommate had just gotten back with materials for the crawl, ahaha. I told him to take pictures. I will of course share them. :)

My mom had a good birthday I think; it's also Baylen's birthday today. I should call that idiot. Er, I mean that good friend, of course. He still doesn't have a cell phone (...) so he gave me his dorm phone # the other day, since we haven't seen each other in ages. I wonder if we should ever...talk...or just ignore it. Huh. I guess I don't really care much right now. And I'll never run into him. But if we ever start hanging out more (doubtful) then... maybe.

Now I'm just typing because I'm bored, this turned out way longer than expected. I believe it's time to hear from whatever author # Katie is.

I really miss jon. It's hard to be lying in bed feeling sick and have him not be here. I don't need someone to take care of me but it is so comforting and wonderful when he does. He's my comfort. Stupid boy and his being far away and working. The long distance thing is fine for a our relationship, we aren't having problems or anything but it still really sucks. It makes the friendlessness harder too, because why stay here where I have no friends, when I could go home to someone who loves me? I just wish he could be here. The comfort would be wonderful... and Im not sure if I feel well enough to get up and buy/make food.... Stupid dizzyness. I feel fine when lying down, but my head swims a bit when I sit up. O well, I'll make myself get up in half an hour and eat so I dont through up.

Wanted: A social life

So it's friday night and im lying in bed watching tv. I guess that's okay. I mean I have an excuse, it was a very painful day and im drugged. I guess I just even wish I had potential plans. Anything I could be doing if I didnt feel too crappy to get out of bed... Silly I know but true. I really dont like spending weekends here, especially when lauren isnt here. I like my schedule when I spend the week at Oshkosh and then I go back home for the weekend and I spend my whole weekend with jonny. At least then I have something to look forward to at the end of the week. O well, if I dont feel crappy tomorrow maybe I'll go to the HC football game. Maybe I'll make some friends there.

^____^

I think I just passed my Chinese midterm!! :D
Yesterday was the written, and today was the oral (the SPOKEN TEST, Jonathan); some of it looked like this:

小高：來，我介紹一下，這是我姐姐，高小音。
李友：小音，你好。認識你很高興。
高小音：認識你們我也很高興。
王朋：小音，你在哪兒工作？
高小音：我在學校工作。你們想喝點兒什麽？有茶，咖啡，還有啤酒。
王朋：我喝啤酒吧。
昨天晚上，王朋和李友去小高家玩兒。
在小高家，他們認識了小高的姐姐。
她叫高小音，在學校的圖書館工作。
小高請王朋喝啤酒，王朋喝了兩瓶。
李友不喝酒，只喝了一杯水。
他們一起聊天兒，看電視。
王朋和李友晚上十二點才回家。

ahaha! I can read, write, and say that!! What what!!

Anyway, spoken and written both went alright. The written was tough but I think I managed...I really want an A in this class though. I think I have a high B at the moment and they didn't enter all my written homework scores in yet, so maybe fixing that and adding the midterm will do it? I hope so. I really want to be good at this.

What else... I'm going to the ballet for free tonight with Kim and her friends, which should be cool; I have nothing at all to do the rest of the weekend but I did get books from the library so I'll just go read somewhere and hope you all are online. :P Nah, I'll figure something out. I also have to research fun things to do when all of you come to visit. (Suggestions welcome.)

I just came back to my room and Emma was drawing on the door (last night she was; I went to open it, and she and all her friends ran alllll the way down the hallway and around the corner. What stealthiness. XD). I said "Hi Emma!" very pleasantly (this is the first time I've come face to face with her since she got bitchy about my note) and we had a very nice discussion about how she has to do stair jumps for lacrosse. I was still laughing to myself when I went into my room. :) Ohh man.

And, if you didn't gather from the 'om' and the '^____^', yoga did go very well. We're going again same time next week and I must admit I'm pretty excited. :D

Happy Friday! (Hen hao xingqiwu!)

I can't sleep. :(

My Happy Place

I want to be Sarah Palin for Halloween.

I just have to find a good outfit and get some hairspray. :P




Really though, I think I'd win any and all "scariest costume" contests.

Blogging

This whole idea of blogging is rather foreign to me. I like to write about my thoughts but I usually only do so in a way that is so personal that I would never allow anyone to read them. That's most of why I stopped posting in my livejournal. The idea of expressing my thoughts in a public forum is not one i'm comfortable with. I'll do it for you two lovely ladies but thats why I may not post as often as either one of the other two authors. I have alot to say but I am usually rather careful about how I say it to.

Excerised again today, Im waiting to feel any positive effects but Ill keep going for a while I guess before any of that happens. It's supposed to help so I guess I should just keep going.

The whole friend thing is weird up here. I have people I know but absolutely no one I talk to about my life. Lauren's a sweetheart but she is very gaurded so that means I dont open up to her either. Maybe Ill make friends here but its really much more tempting to bail. Its hard to like a place when you dread actually spending a weekend there. If I dont get out these next two weekends I might go a bit crazy. Stupid lack of friends, stupid oshkosh and its reviving my old issues. Rawr... Ill be less cranky next week I promise. Maybe.... Ill be less cranky by Halloween?

Thirty six degrees

Yes folks, it's that time again. Hats, mittens, and hot cocoa. For six. months.

I'm thrilled, can you tell? I wish winter lasted more like 3 months, and consistently had that pretty powder snow but only accumulated 3 inches on the ground at a time. And fall needs to last at least two months, none of this week of color business.

My dad finished moving out of his law firm, hooray! He was so stressed, it was affecting my mom and me too. What do you do when the person you expect to be the calmest is upset? It changes your view on the world. You have to remind yourself that no matter how calm or strong a person may seem, they have the same feelings you do, they just hide them better. I have to remind myself of that with the guys here especially, they often seem kind of callous and one-minded. Really, I think a lot of them are more sensitive than they let on.

I'm still getting used to the honesty, or lack thereof, of people here. Seems like some people are straight up, what you see is what you get types. Then there are the sorts who will tell you one thing and not really mean it. And Reid, well, if it explains anything, he's got Truth in most of his screen names. I'm not sure why, but he's more careful about telling the truth than most people. Which is nice, I don't worry about him being dishonest with me. So I'm trying to work really hard on saying what I mean and not lying on accident. You know, when you say something like "I'll never do this" you can't possibly know. So if somebody suggests hanging out, I expect them to mean it...and they don't.

I hadn't expected adjusting to take this long.

New hobby: stealing apples from the dining hall so that there's actually food in my room when I'm hungry. Any time they actually have the good apples (or bananas) out, they're coming with me. I took 4 apples out in my coat pockets from dinner tonight, and have a banana I got at lunch and two apples I got yesterday. So I have 3 different kinds of apples and a banana and smores poptarts. And a piece of gum. And teabags galore and coffee creamer, what what.

Now I just need coffee grounds... and snack bars or organic deliciousness wouldn't hurt either.

I'm going to stop consuming this blog now. Time for my fellow authoresses to claim their space. :)

^__________^

i'm a pitta, what what

the one-week wait for these kills me!! and this week, while great, does nothing to assuage the impatience.

Thought:

It has been a little over a month. The friendships I have back home took 5 years of being in the same school to cultivate and get close to. It will get better.

NB

oh, for my fabulous fellow authoresses:
instead of posting twice about my day. :)

also, it's fall, and it's pretty.

EDS

I hate complaining about my disease but today it is making me incredibly cranky. So this morning Im walking to bis and my right knee, and hip hurt, so I take meds. This makes the rest of my day groggy and nauseous. And then eight hours later like clock work, there goes my meds coverage. But bizarrely my right side felt fine but my left now hates me... so more meds. We'll see how that goes. I really need to find more pain management techniques cause I hate having my life be either groggy or painful. I need a third option or new meds. Just something to make it all easier. EDS sucks.

tuesday

If you're authors two and three I guess that makes me author number one, ahaha. Running on not enough sleep and not enough healthy food as per usual. (S'mores poptarts for breakfast and nothing for lunch. Why yes, I am a cannibal.) I so wish there was an organic foodstore around here. Then I could work there and get a discount. I really would eat more if it was full of organic deliciousness. And affordable.

Update on the girls next door: I'm trying to stay pleasant and mature about this, but there's no denying it. Emma is a bitch. My roommate just heard her complaining about the note...still. That was Saturday night. (Well, technically, 4 am on Sunday.) I was polite. Please grow the fuck up.

I really should probably just go talk to her. If she has a problem with me, please, say it to my face.

Ugh. Besides that, nothing of note is going on... need to study for Chinese, need to study for French (ha), and my knee hurts like crazy. Maybe if I ignore it it'll go away. The pain, not my knee.

I get to go back in eleven days!!

There are three options in college.
1. Enough Sleep
2. Good Grades
3. A Social life.
You get to pick two of them.


Welcome to the first post from author number three! I'm currently learning how to balance school work, sleep, people here, and keeping in touch with everyone back home. So far I've been picking none of those three. Chemistry is killing me, I can't talk to people every second of the day, and I haven't done a whole lot here.

Nevertheless, I remain optimistic. I'm learning how much effort I need to put forth. I am forcing my friends here to study with me so I can get things done and spend time with them. I'm also trying to get better at kicking them out so I can sleep.

Being a freshman isn't easy, but I'm learning.

Here's what's exciting: I keep getting emails about internships. These aren't getting coffee for a boss who likes to look down your shirt, either. One is taking care of injured birds in Hawaii, another is big cats in Colorado. How epic would that be? I'm going to go far, world. Did you know that? If not, you will.

Advising for classes next semester is starting already. What on earth?! I've barely started these classes, it feels like.

Well, time to get back to college life. Have a lovely day.

Exercise!!

Heylo from author numero deux!
So I am pretty much incredibly proud of myself right now. I had absolutly every reason on the books this morning not the exercise : I didn't get enough sleep, I'm in pain and on meds for said pain and I feel nauseous. But I went to the damn gym anyway, cause theoretically the more I go the fewer meds I will need and the less I will be in pain. I'm just super excited because if I can go on a crap day like today I may actually be learning how to take care of myself. Yay for will power!

Plus I'm pretty much the coolest person at the gym because I listen the "Assassins" will running, o yeah, you're jealous.

perfect spot for a rant

"Monday morning wake up knowing that you've got to go to school..."
First line of a song, bonus points if y'know it. iTunes shuffle tends to play pretty fitting songs.

I wish I didn't wake up this morning having to go to school. :( Not the best Monday I've had, that's for sure. (Quite a different tone than all my "I love Mondays" Shao Lin posts, eh?) Anyway, I have to do Chinese homework, but I'll come back and rant later.


--"You know you love me..."
((bonus points there too!))